Does it seem crazy to make a ritual out of running two miles
every morning to a lone statue of St. Francis on a knoll, in a meadow, to kiss
him awake and pet the dovekin in his hand?
Several are the reasons that I have committed to doing this:
- There and back takes exactly the amount of time I want to run. I’m more motivated to JUST DO IT, if there is a clear goal in mind.
- On a less, but not totally
un-practical note, you never know what might happen between here and there
when running out in the middle of nowhere,which is exactly what I need, if I am ever to win that game where you are supposed to say 3 things that are true about yourself and one that's not, and then the other people have to guess what's the lie. I’m not good at fooling people, because I’m an excellent exaggerator, but a terrible liar. Let’s test it out, but in reverse... which one of these potential, real ranch-life dangers actually happened to me this morning on my run?:
a. A
skunk sprayed me
b. A
rattlesnake bit me
c. A
turtle peed on my brand new pair of REI running shorts when I performed the
good Samaritan act of moving its slow poke ass out of the road so it wasn’t
smashed to smithereens. It probably would have shat on me too, if it had seen
the doubled-rear tire pickup with horse trailer in tow hauling tail right
toward it. Nothing short of a miracle (i.e. me) could have saved it from
becoming one with the pavement.
d. A
butterfly lit on my nose
See? I can’t help it. I know I don't have to tell you which one really happened.
- It occurred to me the other day that I don’t know jack about being in a romantic relationship, because all of mine have either been so short lived, or so long ago, that I can’t remember how I kept the woman I had caught around for as long as I did. One thing I do know that helps is adoration and sweetness on a consistent basis. So, I’m practicing on St. Francis. Shortly after dawn, I arrive, cup the side of his face with my palm, say, “Buenos días, Señor Sweetheart St. Francis!” and place my lips gently on his forehead for .00001 seconds. Why so short a time? A big (I’m assuming from the size of the deposit) bird pooped right on Señor Sweetheart St. Francis’ head, which raises a question: Does the fact that I considered wiping it off with my new Solomon Activlite tank top, but didn’t, mean that I’m not there yet? I’m not ready for the sacrifices being in a relationship require? I mean, I guess I could have used my shorts since they had already taken one for the team and were soaked in reptile urine, but still…bird poop is so acidic...it will eat right through concrete if you leave it there long enough. Can you image the destruction it would reek on polyester? Anyway, the bigger question is, would a girlfriend be hurt, if I brevied a kiss because she was pooped on? (Yes, I am aware that I have again invented a word that's not in the dictionary, but needs to be)
The even bigger question than that is, am I single because I think too much? Probably not. It's more likely that to try to date me would be like trying to date a hummingbird.
As for the dovekin, I know you are wondering what
one is. Far as I know, the only specimen known to humankind lives here on High Hope
Ranch. The story is, when I did that radical uproot and got rid of ALL my stuff, I donated St. Francis to
the ranch. Somewhere along the way, one of the doves nested in his cupped hands
lost its head. Coincidently, the ranch manager had been given a ceramic chicken
as a gift and one day it was knocked off a shelf and only its head remained salvagable. "Match"! she thought and performed a head transplant. As a result, a new species of hybrid fowl
was born, the dovekin.
Speaking of matches, since I'm going to be in one place for the summer, I figured I'd mess around on Match.com just for grins. You never know....
You sure don't...know what the cat might drag in. One night, just on a whim, I see a picture of a woman that gets my attention. I’m scooting down through her profile, looking for a point of entry and read her description of an ideal date:
You sure don't...know what the cat might drag in. One night, just on a whim, I see a picture of a woman that gets my attention. I’m scooting down through her profile, looking for a point of entry and read her description of an ideal date:
“To have an engaging conversation in which the person does
NOT talk about her ex gf.”
I don’t know. It was late, I was lonely. I could relate to the experience of dating
someone still hung up on her X. Hell, I’ve been that person. So, I fired off, without much thought: Ha! We can so easily cling to those people and experiences
that have made us a victim. What would engage you in a conversation?
Is it obvious I've O.D.'d on therapy and read too many self-help books?
Is it obvious I've O.D.'d on therapy and read too many self-help books?
She writes back: Hi I am not.sure I understand your message.
I like talking about life,philosophy,nature and art. I don't think we have a
lot in common though.
I was taken aback. Nothing in common? Are you on drugs? If I
were to highlight all the commonalities we have that appear in your profile, it
would look like a crime scene. I DID NOT say that, nor did I cut, paste, highlight and send back to her the self-description she posted as I am going to do here for you:
I am 40 years old, single, lesbian, Asian American (half
Chinese and half Japanese). I am 5'5" average weight, long hair that I
wear up. I am a professor at a state university and I have a Ph.D, and I also
like to make artwork and create art out of recycled materials. I teach in south
Georgia and then I go back to my house in Fort Worth, Texas for the summer to
teach, then I move back to Georgia to teach during the fall and come back to
Fort Worth during the holiday breaks. My life as a teacher has left me with no
time to meet other women; so this is why I am here--- to seek a smart,
compassionate lesbian to be friends or have a possible long term relationship
with. I would prefer someone to be around my age but I am open to friendship
with single lesbians of all ages depending on the maturity level. Hiking and
kayaking are outdoor activities that I like to do in my spare time, along with
visiting art museums, travelling and going to art and film festivals. I value
intelligence, integrity and heart in a person's character. I am a professional
career woman and I am looking for the same. My ideal partner would be someone
who is independent, self-sufficient, and can communicate well. I don't want
endless emails back and forth. I would like to make sure you are a woman first.
Please be willing to voice verify by phone so that I know you are a woman at
some point. I prefer someone around my height and weight, intelligent,
thoughtful and considerate. Sorry, but I am not into women that look like men.
I never understood why some females would dress and act like a man but it's not
my cup of tea.
Nor did I heed the big, fat, blazing red flag those last four sentences hoist up, and thus responsed: I like talking about life, philosophy, nature and art, and I
also make recycled art, and I do summers in TX and winters between Cuba and
somewhere warm. I used to own a kayaking business and I hike whenever possible.We have much in common, but you seem a bit closed...
I can't help it. I plead Scorpio. It's in our nature to say it like it is, even to strangers.
I can't help it. I plead Scorpio. It's in our nature to say it like it is, even to strangers.
I not only got her attention, but made her change her tune. She writes back:
Too intrigued at this point to heed the signs, I responded: Sure, I'll accept your apology. Really, I only responded to give you a little something to think about. On a side note, stress is absolutely the worst thing for your health.
That response seemed to have ruffled her feathers and she spouts off: Well the real reason why I I thought we had nothing in
common is because I had bad experiences with Hispanics living in Texas and for
a long time I did not like to hear Spanish I can't stand hearing people speak
in Spanish and I try to stay away from a lot of Hispanics because of the bad
experiences I've had it done and in your profile you said you wished you were
latina in another life and you speak Spanish so that is why I feel we hav e
differences.a mexican raped me when I was 13 walking home from school and it
effected me for years. I cannot stand Hispanic music and you love the culture
so I don't think I can get passed a lot of things.
Prudence would have had me
just leave it at that and let silence reign, but I couldn’t help myself:
Wow. I'm so sorry to hear that and ask myself, if an Asian
person had harmed me when I was young, would I write off the whole ethnicity?
Hope you are able to get past it. We definitely aren't a "match," but
for other reasons than you thought. Wishing you the best.
Ohhhhhhhh, that stirred her up like a lawnmower over a yellowjackets' nest: I never thought we were a match. You aren't my type at all.
Ohhhhhhhh, that stirred her up like a lawnmower over a yellowjackets' nest: I never thought we were a match. You aren't my type at all.
And then a day later she adds: I am not even sure why you bothered to email me. It was such a waste of time for me to read and respond to your emails. I was being nice to you about meeting for coffee because I thought I hurt your feelings and I didn't even want to meet you. I never thought we were a match because I am attracted to women with dark hair and dark eyes and who actually say "HI, my name is....." in an email instead of some lame obscure riddle. Goodluck.
Lame, obscure riddle? Girl, I was just testing your depths,
hitting you a hard, choppy grounder to see if you could field it.
As for why I included this dialogue in a travelogue, I don't know, other than, I find exchanges like these fascinating studies in human psychology. Perhaps you do too. And I'm talking about my own psychosis for writing what I did as much as I am her "intricacies," for lack of a better word.
On another note, I had the most uplifting experience today in Whole Foods when I ran into someone I forgot I knew. I mean to say she looked familiar, but I couldn't I place her. Turns out we had gone on a retreat together in 2009 and lost touch since then....or so I thought. I had no idea she was not only reading my travelogues, but was really inspired by them...so much so that she printed something I wrote and hung it above her desk. What a lesson in assumptions for me! I struggle so much with writing these because I don't believe they serve enough of a purpose. I've so much work to do in the area of limiting beliefs. It is a tap root of my suffering.
Anyway...lots of work (of a different sort) tomorrow on the ranch, so I'd best get some shut eye. I'll leave you with a few shots of the sunset off the deck of the house I am sitting and other miscellaneous moments. The Universe continues to out do itself with the promise it made to me, "Stay the healing course, and you will be provided for."
I again extend an invitation to come visit me at the ranch. It's really cool. http://www.highhoperanch.com/ My former neighbors came out for the weekend and had a blast.
Thanks to all who send me responses....and to those who don't....as I found out today, many more read than respond.
Much love, G
As for why I included this dialogue in a travelogue, I don't know, other than, I find exchanges like these fascinating studies in human psychology. Perhaps you do too. And I'm talking about my own psychosis for writing what I did as much as I am her "intricacies," for lack of a better word.
On another note, I had the most uplifting experience today in Whole Foods when I ran into someone I forgot I knew. I mean to say she looked familiar, but I couldn't I place her. Turns out we had gone on a retreat together in 2009 and lost touch since then....or so I thought. I had no idea she was not only reading my travelogues, but was really inspired by them...so much so that she printed something I wrote and hung it above her desk. What a lesson in assumptions for me! I struggle so much with writing these because I don't believe they serve enough of a purpose. I've so much work to do in the area of limiting beliefs. It is a tap root of my suffering.
Anyway...lots of work (of a different sort) tomorrow on the ranch, so I'd best get some shut eye. I'll leave you with a few shots of the sunset off the deck of the house I am sitting and other miscellaneous moments. The Universe continues to out do itself with the promise it made to me, "Stay the healing course, and you will be provided for."
 |
| Poolside show |
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| My name is Lightenin' |
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| Bodi taking a break from frisbee |
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| Pop taught me how to trap and it's come in handy |
 |
| catch |
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| Release. (Pop would have caught and skinned. I'm starting a new generation of Austin animal policy) |
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| Hope-a-Long hurt her leg and needed a lift back to the barn. Oh, how I have come to love the baby goats! |
I again extend an invitation to come visit me at the ranch. It's really cool. http://www.highhoperanch.com/ My former neighbors came out for the weekend and had a blast.
Thanks to all who send me responses....and to those who don't....as I found out today, many more read than respond.
Much love, G
